Don’t eat cheese (or LSD) before bedtime
Beneath the spinning dishes, we watched the aardvarks dance,
and twenty shouting fishes, were sent into a trance.
A tailor and a vicar, fell down and writhed around,
while geese with eyes a-glitter, stood cheering on a mound.
Elephants started singing, badgers joined the throng,
a bell-pepper began ringing, and a haddock struck a gong.
Cyclists all rode nude, the skies became quite dark,
a crab with an attitude, said “Ooh, ain’t it a lark!”
I laughed so much my ribs hurt, my eyes were out on stalks,
as bats came from the woodwork, and the rats were made of chalk.
I heard a sudden buzzing, the phantoms did recede,
and wide awake but fuzzy, I got out of bed and peed.
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When I was young I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, apart from taller.
Halfbananas - humour, short fiction & verse 