Multi-verse

disco daleks

Don’t eat cheese (or LSD) before bedtime

Beneath the spinning dishes, we watched the aardvarks dance,

and twenty shouting fishes, were sent into a trance.

A tailor and a vicar, fell down and writhed around,

while geese with eyes a-glitter, stood cheering on a mound.

Elephants started singing, badgers joined the throng,

a bell-pepper began ringing, and a haddock struck a gong.

Cyclists all rode nude, the skies became quite dark,

a crab with an attitude, said “Ooh, ain’t it a lark!”

I laughed so much my ribs hurt, my eyes were out on stalks,

as bats came from the woodwork, and the rats were made of chalk.

I heard a sudden buzzing, the phantoms did recede,

and wide awake but fuzzy, I got out of bed and peed.
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Gimme space, man

astronaut_medWhen I was young I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, apart from taller.

I showed a keen interest in science and space exploration at an early age, but sadly my eventual application to astronaut school was rejected, on the grounds of my flat feet and shortsightedness. That, and the complete lack of a science degree, flying experience, courage, or any of the usual qualities they tend to look for in potential astronauts.

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Dream on

ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLANDSo here we are then, a brand spanking-new year, three hundred and sixty five days (or thereabouts) to make all our dreams come true. Just like we did last year…

It being January, it’s customary for everyone to either dutifully make plans and resolutions for a better, brighter future, or adopt the role of the rebel / iconoclast / misanthrope and say, ‘To hell with that! Pass the tequila!’

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams, wrote William Butler Yeats. Sage advice, one should always beware of treading on dreams, especially the ones featuring cacti or hedgehogs. I personally always wear dream slippers, just in case. They are extremely fluffy, like clouds. In fact I think they are clouds, which probably explains the floating and the mysterious indoor downpours.
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To dream, perchance to do

Cave pictureThey say variety is the spice of life, although for a long time I thought it was cinnamon. How lucky we are to live in cultures that have so many opportunities to enrich ourselves with new experiences. Almost limitless travel possibilities. Cloud-high stacks of great books to read, outstanding movies and TV shows to watch, endless new recipes and flavours to tickle the tastebuds. We have the fathomless depths of the internet with its inspiring TED talks and free courses, entertaining blogs and limitless potential for connection. If they ever start putting sex online, we’ll never get anything done.. Continue reading