Okay, one more dose of ‘humorous verse’, then I promise to inflict no further verbal vandalism upon an utterly disinterested world. For now anyway.
I will return to ‘normal service’, with more incoherent ramblings and disrespecting well-known art masterpieces.
There is also the nail-biting and completely miss-able final installment of the adventures of the world’s least helpful superhero – Procrastination Man.
I’ve never been a great one for poetry, cockney rhyming slang is probably the nearest I ever got to a couplet in my youth. But what about verse? Is there a big difference?
It seems real poetry is a deadly serious business, with strict rules and regs. It nobly aims to stir the soul and enrich the spirit.
Verse is, perhaps, its rather more lighthearted cousin, playful, sometimes a bit silly and therefore entirely appropriate here. So in a fit of possibly ill-conceived and hubristic folly, I scribbled down a few lines.
I may inflict more on an unsuspecting world, depending on the quantity of bribes or death threats I receive demanding that I cease and desist.
(If you missed them, see PM’s first adventure here & part one of this latest adventure here)
Procrastination Man is prepared for any eventuality as he opens the flat door to the mystery caller. Well almost any, he muses. A guy dressed as a moose and carrying a chainsaw would not be on the list of ‘things I’m prepared for’.
The man he finds standing in front of him is thankfully neither dressed as a moose nor wielding any tree-felling equipment. He does hold a white plastic bag that emits a rather pleasing aroma.
‘Harry Ha’ says the man, a smartly dressed chap of possibly British-Chinese origin. ‘Pleased to meet you. I thought you might fancy a bite to eat’.
The telephone interrupts our hero’s rather late breakfast, a past its use-by date pot noodle made with cold water and a glass of flat economy-brand cola. Must get the shopping done and replace the fuse in the kettle-plug he thinks, pulling a sour face.
‘Hello, Procrastination Man speaking, how may I help you?’
‘Yes, hello, I got your details from your website, although I first got through to the Somerset donkey sanctuary who gave me the correct number. They sounded quite annoyed actually’
‘Ah yes, been meaning to get that sorted…’