The halfbananas award

halfbananas award

There are a plethora of awards in the blogiverse, as you may have noticed. Many of them come with a detailed set of conditions to be met and probing questions that have to be answered.

I myself have been nominated on various occasions, including the awards for best humorous partly-fruit-related blog, most banana-friendly blog and also for the Nobel Peace Prize. Although that last one was due to a mix-up.

I thought I’d launch my own awards with a slightly different set of rules..

If you are nominated for a halfbananas award, you should complete one (or more) of the following conditions/tasks:

1. Display the award proudly on your blog.
2. Thank me for the award by making a sizeable donation to my retirement fund.
3. Embark on a quest to locate the lost city of Atlantis and bring me the fabled golden chalice of eternal youth.
4. Invent a time machine and get me the Euro-lottery results for next Friday.
5. Have a selfie taken with Bigfoot.
6. All of the above.
7. None of the above.

Watch this space for the announcement of the very first award winners!

 
 
© Copyright Jason Lennick 2016. All rights reserved.
 
 

God of the week – Axomamma

potato god
For the second in the new series, god of the week, we have the Incan Potato Goddess Axomamma, aka Acsumama/ Ajomama.

This female deity from the Andes is especially popular with modern humans, with people all across the world giving thanks to her bounty by consuming vast quantities of french-fries and other potato-based treats.

All praise Axomamma, sourceress of spuds, temptress of tubers and titan of tatties.

 
© Copyright Jason Lennick 2016. All rights reserved.
 
 

God of the week – Ahti

gods - Ahti
To kick off this new feature we have Ahti, an Egyptian goddess ‘with the head of a wasp and the body of a hippopotamus.’

I don’t imagine the hippo body made her very aerodynamic. I’m sure she also got a lot of shit from both wasps and hippos, all of which probably accounts for her supposed spiteful and angry demeanour.

She would definitely ruin a nice picnic.

Do you have a favourite god? Let me know in the comments.

 
© Copyright Jason Lennick 2016. All rights reserved.
 
 
 

Tiny tales for a Tuesday

A new collection of fifty-word micro-fiction.

Chihuahua_med

Lucky day
On the way to work I found a sports bag, filled with cash. Overjoyed, I decided to quit and went straight to see my manager. She looked shocked. “Holy shit, you found it!” Dazed, I handed over the bag and spent the rest of the day quietly weeping at my desk.

Second bite
The week my wife left me, the cat disappeared too. I kinda imploded and hit the booze hard. I felt like ending it, till that stray mutt showed up. One day, he bit a postal worker. Luckily she was the forgiving type, and single too. Things are finally looking up.
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