Scene one. A lavish ocean-side mansion at an idyllic retreat. On a nearby golf course, a fat man with a fake tan and ridiculous hair slices another shot into a sand bunker.
“Perfect shot!” beams King Windbottom, who is now several shots over par and losing badly.
“This is my best ever performance,” he declares. “I may even break the course record today.”
With the threat from the north escalating and his administration in crisis, King Windbottom wrestles with difficult decisions on a daily basis.
“Hmm, a nine iron or a seven? I’m sure I can make the green from here.”
His opponent and the caddies look sceptical.
“Oh look, a fire-dragon!” says Windbottom.
The others dutifully look away, as he kicks his ball out of the bunker. They exchange glances but pretend to not notice.
A messenger brings the latest news regarding the ‘mad king of the north’, king Wrong-un.
“He claims to have fire-dragons, sire. With long range capabilities. He says he will attack our forward outpost and sink all our boats.”
King Windbottom suddenly begins to sob uncontrollably. The others stare at their shoes. An assistant quickly steps forward, with pictures of kittens and inspirational affirmations:
YOU ARE THE GREATEST LIVING PERSON!
ALL PEOPLE LOVE AND ADMIRE YOU!
EVERY WOMAN WANTS TO BE WITH YOU!