Dr Who – The lost episodes*

The Doctor brings a great inventor back from the past to help save Earth from an invasion of evil steam-punks from another dimension. Chaos ensues..

Scene 1: Somewhere on the M1 motorway, a motorcycle cop pulls up next to a familiar blue police box on the hard shoulder. Two men emerge.

Motorcycle cop: “Name?”

The Doctor: “Who”

Cop: “Your name”

The Doctor: “Who”

Cop: “Ah, bit of a smart-arse are we. Who is this?”

The Doctor: “No, I’m Who. This is Watt”

Cop: “You shut up, I was talking to him”

James Watt: “Watt”

Cop: *now visibly seething* “What the hell are you doing here?”

The Doctor: “Who, me or Watt?”

Cop: *shouting* “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

James Watt: “Who, me?”

The Doctor: *Grinning* “No, Who me…”

*They both laugh*

Scene 2. A police cell. The Doctor and James Watt, sport bruises, and various contusions.

The Doctor: “With hindsight, we could have handled that better..”

James Watt: *Winces with pain* “Most assuredly Doctor.”

The Doctor: “It’s a good thing we didn’t bring your assistant, Albert Ware.”

Their banter is interrupted by a horribly familiar sight. Sort of. A steam-punk dalek opens the cell door. He appears to be made of copper, wood and brass. His head looks strikingly like a steam kettle.

James Watt: “Good Lord!”

The Doctor: *Trying desperately to suppress the giggles* “At last! I’ll have mine with milk and two sugars…”

Steam-punk-dalek: “S-I-L-E-N-C-E !  Y-O-U  W-I-L-L  O-B-E-Y”

The Doctor: “Who?”

James Watt: “What?”

The Doctor: “Do you have any chocolate Hobnobs?”

Dalek: “Y-O-U  W-I-L-L  B-E  E-X-T-E-R-M-I-N-A-T-E-D !

The Doctor: “Rich tea then? Custard Creams?”

To be continued… possibly.


*Lost for a good reason.

Words © Copyright Jason Lennick 2017

Dr Who, Daleks et al © Copyright BBC Television

Groovy graphics via Abberant RhetoricPromus-Kaa


  1. Hehe, love it! Not been a Who fan since somewhere between ‘the very-long-scarfed one’ and ‘he-who-seems-to-dislike-women one’ departed but if I’d known it was all about Hobnobs and antique Daleks, I’d be back watching in a flash!

    Liked by 1 person

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