Dr Who – The lost episodes*
The Doctor brings a great inventor back from the past to help save Earth from an invasion of evil steam-punks from another dimension. Chaos ensues..
Scene 1: Somewhere on the M1 motorway, a motorcycle cop pulls up next to a familiar blue police box on the hard shoulder. Two men emerge.
Motorcycle cop: “Name?”
The Doctor: “Who”
Cop: “Your name”
The Doctor: “Who”
Cop: “Ah, bit of a smart-arse are we. Who is this?”
The Doctor: “No, I’m Who. This is Watt”
Cop: “You shut up, I was talking to him”
James Watt: “Watt”
Cop: *now visibly seething* “What the hell are you doing here?”
The Doctor: “Who, me or Watt?”
Cop: *shouting* “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
James Watt: “Who, me?”
The Doctor: *Grinning* “No, Who me…”
*They both laugh*
Scene 2. A police cell. The Doctor and James Watt, sport bruises, and various contusions.
The Doctor: “With hindsight, we could have handled that better..”
James Watt: *Winces with pain* “Most assuredly Doctor.”
The Doctor: “It’s a good thing we didn’t bring your assistant, Albert Ware.”
Their banter is interrupted by a horribly familiar sight. Sort of. A steam-punk dalek opens the cell door. He appears to be made of copper, wood and brass. His head looks strikingly like a steam kettle.
James Watt: “Good Lord!”
The Doctor: *Trying desperately to suppress the giggles* “At last! I’ll have mine with milk and two sugars…”
Steam-punk-dalek: “S-I-L-E-N-C-E ! Y-O-U W-I-L-L O-B-E-Y”
The Doctor: “Who?”
James Watt: “What?”
The Doctor: “Do you have any chocolate Hobnobs?”
Dalek: “Y-O-U W-I-L-L B-E E-X-T-E-R-M-I-N-A-T-E-D !”
The Doctor: “Rich tea then? Custard Creams?”
To be continued… possibly.
*Lost for a good reason.
Words © Copyright Jason Lennick 2017
Dr Who, Daleks et al © Copyright BBC Television
Groovy graphics via Abberant Rhetoric / Promus-Kaa
Halfbananas - humour, short fiction & verse 
I think I saw this episode. Colin Baker era right? Although on reflection this does seem a bit too good for that particular era…
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Oh, you mad creature I call a son…Ha ha. Ma x
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Hehe, love it! Not been a Who fan since somewhere between ‘the very-long-scarfed one’ and ‘he-who-seems-to-dislike-women one’ departed but if I’d known it was all about Hobnobs and antique Daleks, I’d be back watching in a flash!
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