I’ve been neglecting the blog of late, but thought I’d at least get in a final post before a doddering 2017 shuffles off into the wings, and a brash young 2018 leaps onto the stage, all bright-eyed and bushy of tail.
I don’t know if there will be any more halfbananas next year, it’s future – like the fate of the crocoduck – is uncertain.
It’s been an odd year and not just numerically. At times it almost felt like we’d slipped into a parallel dimension where up is down, black is white and a maniacal clown occupies the Oval Office, spewing ignorance and misinformation every time he speaks or tweets.
The UK is a sorry mess, tribalism, polarisation and scapegoating continue to dominate global politics and there seems precious little to instill much optimism for the year ahead. But it’s not all doom and gloom. I’m sure if you dig a little deeper there are things to inspire hope and cheer up even the grumpiest misanthrope. I just can’t think of many examples right now.
Whatever your goals and aspirations for the new year, I wish you peace, happiness and in the immortal words of Abraham Lincoln: ‘Be excellent to each other. And… PARTY ON, DUDES!‘
Here I present my New Year resolutions and goals for 2018
- Get more exorcism
- Drink sensibly (eg not out of a clown shoe while wearing a false moustache)
- Learn the Fandango
- Do a tandem jump from a tandem
- Adopt an orphaned cricket
- Get more edjukated
- Get a bionic eye / legs
- Overcome my fear of crocoducks
- Wrestle the Pope
- Stop making New Year resolutions
Have you made any goals or resolutions? Do share.
© Copyright Jason Lennick 2017
The lies were spun
votes were cast
and nobody won
in this British farce.
Across the waves
in election season
no home for the brave
when fear trumps reason.
a favourite tool
make it easier to rule.
The Earth’s still warming
a new era dawning
or our deathly spiral?
In a time of fear
we can but hope
maybe next year
Trump has a stroke.
Putin’s on trial
Blair’s doing time
Truth’s back in style
and the weather is fine.
There’s no need to cry
next year could be ‘dope’
yeah and pigs might fly
and I’ll become pope.
©Copyright Jason Lennick 2016. All rights reserved.
I’m a health nut and a borderline alcoholic. I enjoy science documentaries and art-house cinema, but I also like watching UFC fighters knock seven shades of shit out of each other. I’m a fairly empathetic person, but sometimes wish I could see my upstairs neighbours eaten slowly by wolves.
I’d be surprised if there were many people alive who didn’t exhibit some degree of these types of contradictory character traits. Their existence has surely inspired many writers and thinkers over the centuries, including the author Robert Louis Stevenson himself.
When the mighty Genghis Khan was busy conquering half the world and the Vikings were spreading their genes far and wide, you can be sure they were ably assisted by some pretty deadly metal. It seems unlikely they sent a polite note first, asking if the inhabitants could be sure to be in on Wednesday between nine and four.
Vlad the Impaler may well have possessed razor sharp prose and a wonderful way with a metaphor, but it was the thought of something long and sharp where the sun don’t shine that really brought tears to the eyes of his victims.