Vampires! Zombies! Giant killer hamsters!

hamsterHorror has become big business these days and you can hardly have failed to notice the waves of the undead shuffling, flying or bounding across screens big and small. With a plethora of assorted suckers, rippers and biters, horror fans are spoiled for choice when it comes to grisly supernatural thrills.

There are a ton of psychological theories about why we love to scare ourselves silly with these films. But whatever the truth, many of us just can’t help but subject ourselves to what one might call a safe scare. All the adrenalin and terror without any real danger (despite what some cunning marketing people would have us believe).

We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.” – Stephen King

What would the creators of Nosferatu or Dracula make of all this ghoulish entertainment? Would Mary Shelly find our modern day monsters a little OTT? Could George Romero have ever imagined we’d become so addicted to the brain-munchers?
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God of the week – Huitzilopochtli

Huitzilopochtli_VIt just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? Apart from sounding a little like somebody clearing their throat first thing in the morning, what do we know about this colourful Aztec war god? Apparently the name is the subject of much disagreement, but has something to do with hummingbirds.

According to Wikipedia:
“There are a handful of origin mythologies describing the deity’s beginnings. One story tells of the cosmic creation and Huitzilopochtli’s role. According to this legend, he was the smallest son of four—his parents being the creator couple Tonacatecutli and Tonacacihuatl while his brothers were Quetzalcoatl and the two Tezcatlipocas. His mother and father instructed both him and Quetzalcoatl to bring order to the world. And so, together they made fire, the first male and female humans, created the Earth, and manufactured a sun.”

That’s quite a story! I’ve heard of pushy parents, but telling your kids to ‘bring order to the world’ is quite a tall order. And boy the kids certainly didn’t disappoint.

There is more:
“Another origin story tells of a fierce goddess, Coatlicue, being impregnated as she was sweeping by a ball of feathers on Mount Coatepec. Her other children, who were already fully grown, were the four hundred male Centzonuitznaua and the female deity Coyolxauhqui. These children, angered by the manner by which their mother became impregnated, conspired to kill her. Huitzilopochtli burst forth from his mother’s womb in full armor and fully grown. He attacked his older brothers and sister, defending his mother by beheading his sister and casting her body from the mountain top. He also chased after his brothers, who fled from him and became scattered all over the sky.”

Wow! That’s quite an entrance for a newborn. I wonder what he did for an encore?

“Huitzilopochtli is seen as the sun in mythology, while his many male siblings are perceived as the stars and his sister as the moon. In the Aztec worldview, this is the reason why the Sun is constantly chasing the Moon and stars.”

So how did the Aztecs honour this high-achieving creative dude?

Panquetzaliztli (7 December to 26 December) was the Aztec month dedicated to Huitzilopochtli. People decorated their homes and trees with paper flags; there were ritual races, processions, dances, songs, prayers, and finally human sacrifices.”

Ah it was all looking very festive and jolly, until we got to that last part. I know they say we all have to make sacrifices, but that’s one tradition probably best left to ancient history.

Here’s to you Huitzilopochtli. Now where did I put the sun-lotion?

© Copyright Jason Lennick 2016. All rights reserved.

Text and image source: Wikipedia
 
 

Halfbananas is one year old today!

olderbettermug_medIt seems it’s exactly one year since an absurd idea became an absurd blog and halfbananas was launched upon an unsuspecting world.

It all started with an odd tale of mutant mushrooms and Armageddon. Thus the tone was set for the multiple servings of half-baked concoctions, delirious ramblings and occasionally almost readable flights of fancy that is today unknown to tens of millions of readers around the world.

For my followers old and new, many thanks for your support and I hope you will stick with me as we continue to explore the frontiers (or indeed back-ears) of this crazy mixed up planet of the apes on which we find ourselves.

Cheers!

 
© Copyright Jason Lennick 2016. All rights reserved.
 

Pic source
 
 

Kick the bucket-list

desert ship_medThe concept of making a to-do list of amazing experiences and must-see places has become something of a cliche in recent years. There was even a movie called The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, although I’ve not seen it (it’s not on my list).

If you’re not climbing the Matterhorn for charity dressed as a penguin, or piloting your own fantastical steam-punk ship/house to the Burning Man festival, you’re not really thinking big enough, man. Run an ultra-marathon across the desert, take ayahuasca with an Amazon shaman, or unicycle to the South Pole to raise awareness for world albino-hamster day. But don’t just sit there!
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God of the week – Fukurokuju

Fuku-japanese god_medThis jolly chap is the Japanese god of wisdom, luck, longevity, wealth and happiness, and one of the seven lucky gods of Japanese mythology.

With alleged Chinese origins, he is said to have a head almost as large as his body, which probably made him very smart but difficult to buy hats for.

He is often accompanied by a turtle, a crow or a deer and apparently likes to play chess (putting that big brain to good use).

He is credited with the ability to raise the dead, putting him head and shoulders above many competing gods.

Hats off to you, Fukurokuju!

 
© Copyright Jason Lennick 2016. All rights reserved.

Sources: Godchecker / Wikipedia

Image: Mingeiarts.com
 
 

Most wanted

wolverine-Squirrel“I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now..”

So sang Freddie Mercury in the Queen hit “I want it all”. And from what I heard, he probably got a lot more than most of us.

Of course we all want stuff. Some of us want fancy stuff – our own pyramid, a gold yacht or a helicopter made of chocolate.

Some of us want simpler and more meaningful stuff – good relationships, inner peace and a sense of purpose (or, for confused dolphins, a sense of porpoise?).

And of course some of us just want another bag of popcorn and the return of Game of Thrones / The Walking Dead.

I imagine if you were a criminal in a chain-gang on the run, the thing you’d want most would be some good solid bolt-cutters and a place to lie low. But few of us will experience that situation – although, incredibly, chain-gangs have been reintroduced into some US prisons recently. Most of us have some degree of freedom to go where we please, and make our own choices, within reason.
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How to fix the Olympic games

trumpclown_medSport is pretty dull isn’t it? Don’t you just yearn for some new ideas and fresh approaches to those tired old games? Here, for your consideration, is the Olympics re-imagined.

 

The catapult-vault
This exciting revamp of the pole vault would be quite spectacular, although perhaps somewhat difficult to train for. Contestants are flung from a powerful catapult having first been set ablaze. (They have on fireproof suits naturally) They must clear a bar one hundred metres high, then deploy a parachute to land safely in a tank of water.
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Halfbananas awards – the winners!

The agonising wait is over at last! Here are the winners in the very first ever halfbananas awards.

halfbananas award
There are so many amazing blogs out there, it’s hard to keep up. I hope you enjoy discovering some great new ones, and if you’ve won a coveted halfbananas award, congratulations!

The dedicated awards committee have tried to recognise the best examples in various categories, but inevitably there will be lots of other fabulous blogs that missed out this time around. But never fear, there will be more awards, accolades and virtual pats-on-backs coming soon. Let’s spread the love people!

I look forward to seeing all the lucky winners and honourable mentions, at the lavish Hollywood party I will be hosting, assuming awards condition #3 is met (see below).
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The halfbananas award

halfbananas award

There are a plethora of awards in the blogiverse, as you may have noticed. Many of them come with a detailed set of conditions to be met and probing questions that have to be answered.

I myself have been nominated on various occasions, including the awards for best humorous partly-fruit-related blog, most banana-friendly blog and also for the Nobel Peace Prize. Although that last one was due to a mix-up.

I thought I’d launch my own awards with a slightly different set of rules..

If you are nominated for a halfbananas award, you should complete one (or more) of the following conditions/tasks:

1. Display the award proudly on your blog.
2. Thank me for the award by making a sizeable donation to my retirement fund.
3. Embark on a quest to locate the lost city of Atlantis and bring me the fabled golden chalice of eternal youth.
4. Invent a time machine and get me the Euro-lottery results for next Friday.
5. Have a selfie taken with Bigfoot.
6. All of the above.
7. None of the above.

Watch this space for the announcement of the very first award winners!

 
 
© Copyright Jason Lennick 2016. All rights reserved.
 
 

God of the week – Axomamma

potato god
For the second in the new series, god of the week, we have the Incan Potato Goddess Axomamma, aka Acsumama/ Ajomama.

This female deity from the Andes is especially popular with modern humans, with people all across the world giving thanks to her bounty by consuming vast quantities of french-fries and other potato-based treats.

All praise Axomamma, sourceress of spuds, temptress of tubers and titan of tatties.

 
© Copyright Jason Lennick 2016. All rights reserved.