Nautical Miles

‘An octopus is not a cat,’
Miles said, ‘It’s plain to see;

it’s hard to keep one in a flat,
or sit one on your knees.’

The squid’s another cephalopod,
Miles got one: “just for laughs”;

it’s not as friendly as a dog,
but it’s much more keen on baths.

‘I cook it fishcakes every day,’
he told his best friend, Peg;

she looked at him in a sceptical way,
and said: ‘Pull the other leg.’


Cunning linguists

English is a funny tongue,
the rules can make life fraught;

It’s hard to learn and not much fun,
words don’t sound how they ought.

Water sounds like daughter,
and lout is just like drought;

but laughter’s not like slaughter,
It can fill your head with doubts.

It will take time to grasp the facts,
and may often leave you vexed;

but if you find it prolongs the act,
you can practice during sex.

Copyright J.Lennick 2016. All rights reserved.
Drawing by Sarah Esteje

5 thoughts on “Sub-versive

  1. I loved the poem, Jason, but I’m not convinced that the facts mentioned in it are entirely accurate. For one thing, the line about Miles’s squid not being as friendly as a dog didn’t ring true. I have a pet octopus called Arnold and he loves sidling up to strangers at parties and regaling them with knock knock jokes.

    Liked by 1 person

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