There seem to be a fair few awards flying around of late and I have been nominated a few times myself. (The best of breed at Crufts dog show was certainly a surprise)

I always feel chuffed to get nominated, until I remember that some blogging awards require one to nominate up to fifteen other blogs, in the form of a sort of chain letter (or pyramid scheme?) deal. Of course unlike a pyramid scheme, nobody is scamming people to get rich and the intentions are honourable, as far as I know.

This leaves one torn between the nice ego boost of a nomination and the realisation one has to actually find that many other blogs to nominate and contact them all, as well as answering a series of searching personal questions (Favourite Italian biscuit? Most used Klingon curse word?)

Of course I do follow many blogs, even if I don’t always find the time to read, comment or like all of them on a regular basis. Many of them are certainly praiseworthy and deserving of recognition (stand up Bun Karyudo..) but they may not necessarily appreciate the gesture of a blogger-style award.

This got me thinking about prizes, accolades and recognition. Most of us would no doubt be thrilled to be nominated for an Oscar, Golden Globe or a Bafta award. I personally still hold out hope for the Nobel peace prize, but so far my efforts to unite the world via incoherent ramblings on a little-known blog have proved fruitless, despite the name.

After politely turning down another recent nomination (thanks purplewishingwell) I wondered if it was perhaps time to inaugurate my own halfbananas awards. These would be simple, no-strings awards, given to those bloggers whose work I’ve most enjoyed (or have provided the most substantial bribes).

Of course to remain true to the spirit of my blog, I could set my own conditions for acceptance, perhaps along these lines:

• Thank halfbananas for the award with wildly effusive praise at every opportunity
• Have the award tattooed on a visible part of your body
• Write to the Nobel prize committee, pointing out their outrageous oversight
• Enter the X Factor talent competition as a tap dancing ventriloquist
• Take a photo of yourself in a sombrero and a kilt, and use it as your profile picture
• Hug a platypus

I guess it’s recognition we crave, the approval of our peers, that all-important pat on the back that makes life that little bit sweeter.

Oscar Wilde once said “The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about.” I suspect he’s right and despite some folks’ protestations to the contrary, we love to feel loved, liked, or at the very least, not completely invisible.

Of course fame and success can lead to its own problems. The ego can easily become over-inflated and if not careful, it can blow up into a veritable Hindenburg of arrogance and smugness. And we all know what happened to the Hindenburg. (That’s the airship, not to be confused with a homburg, which is a type of fast food)

I have always managed to keep my own ego in check, thanks to a life-long policy of being rubbish at things. I was not an athlete at school, nor much of a scholar. I have never swum the English channel or walked up mount Kilimanjaro for charity, dressed as an aardvark. I speak only one language, semi-fluently (My second one, Danish, is laughable). My mathematics ability is only marginally superior to that of a horse.

I did get my bronze swimming certificate, and once got a gold star for a primary school project about the moon landing. But I never let all that success change me, and have tried to remain resolutely down to earth and humble.

But of course in an age where one is competing with a googolplex of other bloggers and writers, to be too humble is perhaps not a way to get noticed or make a good living. They say we British are not so great at ‘blowing our own trumpets‘, so maybe I will need to buy a trumpet. (I’ve no idea why you’d want to blow someone else’s trumpet. Unless perhaps in a euphemistic sense, which is not really my cup of tea).

In closing I would like to thank all those kind bloggers who have nominated me for Liebster awards and the like, as well as making my day a bit more interesting and enjoyable with their fine writing and creativity. I love you all. (*Wipes away tears, blows kisses*)

Many thanks to the Oscars committee for their kind consideration in the little-known category of ‘best blog almost featured on a laptop in the background of a deleted scene in a minor motion picture’ (I didn’t win).

I’d also like to thank my therapist, personal trainer and team of assistants for all their support. Although this would seem pointless since I don’t actually have a therapist, personal trainer and team of assistants.

And finally thanks to my wonderful parents, especially my Mum, who is always super-supportive and encouraging, a writer, blogger and star in her own right, and the first recipient of the halfbananas award for best Mum (should I ever get round to creating them).

Nobody suspected that one day, the quiet, rather shy boy from a small one-horse town would become a household name. Now, thanks to the JĀSÖN company, I can say that people from all over the world can wash their hair and avoid split ends with some very nice shampoo and conditioner that has my name on it. I won’t let it go to my head.*
 
* I have no connection to the company, and sadly don’t get a royalty for every bottle sold. But it’s a great name 🙂 and I’d be happy to try out their products if they would like to send me some. Hint hint.
 
 
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